Trauma Therapy for Women over 40 in Cobble Hill, NY
What is Trauma?
Trauma is more than a painful memory—it’s an experience that overwhelms your ability to cope, leaving a lasting imprint on your mind and body.
When an event is too intense, too sudden, or too prolonged for your nervous system to fully process, it can get stuck, shaping the way you think, feel, and react long after the moment has passed.
When something distressing occurs, your brain and body go through a natural cycle: an event happens, you respond, regain a sense of safety, and then the emotions and physical energy tied to that event get released. But when trauma overwhelms this system, it disrupts the cycle, keeping the experience active instead of processed.
This is why some memories feel like the past, while others can feel as if they just happened, influencing thoughts, emotions, and even physical well-being—even decades later.
Single-Event vs. Complex Trauma
Not all trauma looks the same. Some people experience a single traumatic event (like an accident, assault, or loss), while others go through chronic or repeated stress (such as childhood neglect, unstable relationships, or long-term emotional distress).
Single-Event Trauma: Often linked to a specific incident, with symptoms tied to that event.
Complex Trauma: Develops from ongoing or repeated experiences, shaping self-perception, relationships, and emotional regulation over time.
Trauma doesn’t always show up the way people expect. It’s not just about flashbacks or fear—it can be perfectionism, self-doubt, people-pleasing, difficulty relaxing, or always feeling “on.” Flashbacks are most commonly associated with vivid images, but for many, they are experienced in a highly somatic way—through physical sensations, tension, or emotional flooding rather than clear mental pictures.
Intergenerational Trauma
Trauma doesn’t always start with you. Sometimes, it’s something you carry without realizing where it came from. Intergenerational trauma refers to the emotional and psychological effects of trauma that are passed down through families.
Research shows that trauma can even leave imprints on the nervous system and genes, altering stress responses in ways that affect future generations. When trauma goes unprocessed, it doesn’t just disappear—it gets stored in the body, influences behaviors, and can even shape the way families communicate, cope, and relate to one another. You might notice it in:
Family dynamics – cycles of emotional distance, overprotection, or difficulty expressing needs.
Inherited beliefs – messages like “You have to be strong,” “We don’t talk about our problems,” or “You can’t trust others.”
Unexplained fears or reactions – feeling heightened anxiety in situations that don’t seem to warrant it, or struggling with guilt, shame, or self-doubt without a clear source.
If your parents or grandparents lived through war, displacement, discrimination, or personal hardship, those unprocessed survival instincts may have been passed down—not just in family stories or behaviors, but in the way your nervous system reacts to stress today.
How Trauma Affects the Brain and Body
The brain has different systems for thinking, feeling, and survival. In times of stress, the subcortex (emotional and survival brain) takes over, while the neocortex (logical and reasoning brain) is dialed down. This is helpful when reacting to immediate danger, but when trauma is unresolved, the subcortex can stay activated, keeping your neocortex running in the background or go “offline”, making you feel on edge, anxious, or emotionally reactive even when you’re safe.
This can look like:
Feeling emotionally flooded or numb in certain situations.
Being easily triggered by specific memories, places, or interactions without knowing why.
Struggling to trust yourself or others, even when there’s no clear reason.
Experiencing physical symptoms like tension, fatigue, or unexplained pain.
Trauma isn’t just in your head—it’s in your nervous system. It’s why some reactions seem beyond your control, no matter how much you try to rationalize them or talk yourself down.
Common Misconceptions About Trauma
Trauma isn’t defined by how “bad” something was—it’s about how your nervous system processed it. Even experiences that seem small in hindsight can leave a lasting impact.
“Trauma only happens to people who have been through extreme situations.”
“If I don’t remember something clearly, it must not have affected me.”
The brain can compartmentalize overwhelming memories to protect you. But unresolved trauma can still show up in patterns of anxiety, avoidance, or emotional reactions you can’t fully explain.
“If I just ignore it, it will go away.”
Unprocessed trauma doesn’t disappear—it lives in the body until it’s addressed. Over time, it can contribute to anxiety, depression, stress, burnout, relationship struggles, and even chronic pain.
Why Trauma Can Resurface Later in Life
For some women, past trauma reemerges during major life transitions—such as perimenopause, divorce, or the loss of a loved one. As hormonal shifts, grief, or significant life changes affect mood and emotional regulation, unresolved experiences from the past can rise to the surface—sometimes for the first time in years. If you’re finding that old emotions, fears, or patterns are coming back, you’re not alone. This is your brain’s way of signaling that it’s ready to process what was once too much to handle.
Trauma therapy isn’t about reliving the past—it’s about helping your brain and body process what’s been stuck so you can feel more grounded, present, and at peace.
Approaches I use to help with trauma include:
Brainspotting: A focused method that helps access where trauma is held in the brain and body, allowing it to release.
Parts Work: Helps you understand and heal different parts of yourself that developed as a means to help you cope with trauma.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Uses guided eye movements to help your brain reprocess traumatic memories.
These, and other specialized therapies, don’t erase the past—they help your mind and body integrate the experience so it no longer controls how you feel, think, or react.
How Therapy Helps You Move Forward
If Unresolved Trauma Is Affecting Your Life, You Don’t Have to Navigate It Alone.
Many people live for years without realizing how much past experiences continue to shape their thoughts, emotions, and relationships. But healing is possible—and you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
Therapy offers a space to untangle the experiences that still weigh on you, helping you make sense of what no longer fits, release what you don’t need to carry, and move forward in a way that feels more steady and true to who you are now.
If you’re ready to take that step, I’m here to support you.
Reaching out for support isn’t always easy. I hope what you’ve read here has been helpful.
I provide online trauma therapy for adults in New York, New Jersey, and Florida (where I’m registered as an out-of-state telehealth provider). Sessions are held virtually through a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform, so you can meet from a space that feels safe and convenient—whether that’s your home, office, or anywhere private.
If you’d like to explore whether working together feels like the right next step, I offer a free 30-minute consultation.
You can also scroll down to the FAQs below for more details.